Ghosting

I’ve had enough of dating men who can’t communicate.

Step up and say the things you mean, and mean what you say.

This isn’t high school.

I understand you might upset me. I know you think I’m a delicate flower who can’t handle your rejection, but rest assured: I’ve been through hell and back, and your “no” will feel minuscule compared to the truck run-overs I’ve experienced in my life thus far.

I’ve been criticized for being too forward, talking too often, trying too hard, over-texting, etc.

But at least I’m real.

At least I’m boldly who I am, and I don’t cower behind my phone or refuse to step up and tell the truth. At least I face reality. I don’t look away. I look you in the eye and say what I mean and mean what I say.

I’d rather have loved with my whole heart and soul and risked it all than stayed scared, cowering in the corner, risking nothing at all.

You are going to get your ass kicked.

So do it scared.

Do it nervously.

Do it awkwardly.

But gosh darn it, do it.

Don’t be a pussy.

I’m sick of it.

If I text you, and I can see that you saw it because you are sending read receipts, then text back.

It’s like ping-pong.

I hit the ball. You hit it back.

It’s called basic manners.

I’m sick of having to teach basic skill sets to grown men.

Twenty-four hours would be the absolute limit for me, but if I see that you saw it, why the hell would you not respond?

Are you playing hard to get?

Being mean?

Trying to hurt me?

Sticking the dagger in deeper?

Basic manners, bro.

Ghosting is far worse than rejection.

The quicker you tell another person how you feel, the more pain you can potentially prevent. You can maybe break the fall easier. Pacify the hurt a little.

Your silence hurts me worse.

Your distance hurts me worse.

You choosing to see my message and say nothing at all has me reeling. It makes me think you’re mad at me, and then I can’t emotionally regulate.

And I know that putting your validation or your state of mind in another person’s response is extremely unhealthy. It gives someone else far too much control over you.

It’s like putting yourself in someone else’s hands like putty.

And some of you use that to your advantage.

I’ll make her think one thing. I’ll wait. Then I’ll do another.

Fuck that.

Respond.

Not responding is cowardly, rude, cruel, and sometimes it feels a bit abusive.

Women do it too.

Why?

That’s some mean-girl shit, and we do not need more mean-girl shit in this world.

The world already has enough cruelty.

I would have cut off a toe to have seen you, but you wouldn’t even cross the street for me.

That’s my life.

But I will not become bitter and mean and a bitch because you are a spineless dick.

That’s on you.

I will always be true to me.

If I am too much, go find less.

If I am too forward, go find meek.

If I am too loud, go find a mouse.

I am not changing for anyone.

Someday, someone won’t look at these characteristics of mine as faults or flaws or weaknesses, but rather as superpowers and badassery.

Stop being a pussy and man up.

If you don’t like me, stop messaging me.

Don’t flirt with me.

Don’t act one way, do a complete 180, and then wonder why I’m confused.

That’s mean.

That’s unkind.

That’s cruel.

You are leading me in a direction you are unwilling to go.

For what?

An ego boost?

Are you laughing at my texts?

Be a man.

Be a woman.

Be honest from the jump.

Don’t want me to visit?

Say it.

Don’t want to kiss me?

Say it.

Don’t want me to sleep over?

Say it.

Don’t wait until I get all excited, thinking things between us are magic, and then pull a fast one, leaving me in a puddle of tears because you pretended it was mutual between us.

Don’t tell me I’m beautiful and then act like I’m a disease when I see you in person.

Don’t tell me what an incredible woman I am and how perfect I am, then complain about women for hours when you have an imperfectly beautiful one standing right in front of you, ready to hold you, hug you, and kiss you.

It makes no goddamn sense.

Say the hard thing.

Tell the truth.

Even when the truth hurts.

Especially when the truth hurts.

I can handle rejection.

What I cannot handle is being led toward something you already know you do not want.

Rant over.

Grow some balls.